Happy Birthday to Me (1981)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME (1981) ***
Happy Birthday to Me stands out from the early ’80s slasher film craze pack because a) it has superior production values with a name director (J. Lee Thompson, who directed The Guns of Navarone and Cape Fear) and a good cast including an unhappy Glenn Ford, b) it has a longer running time than the average 85- and 90-minute slasher film, and c) it has one of the most bizarre twist endings this side of Sleepaway Camp.

Just like fellow 1981 Canadian slasher My Bloody Valentine, also produced by John Dunning and André Link with distinctive elements for a slasher, Happy Birthday to Me calls to mind a prestigious Academy Award for Best Picture winner, 1980’s Ordinary People. (My Bloody Valentine recalled The Deer Hunter from the coal mine setting and overall working-class milieu, the prodigious beer drinking, and the more adult-like plot and romantic triangle.)

Let’s see, Happy Birthday to Me and Ordinary People both have the same elite upper middle class suburban prep school environment, traumatic events in the past, troubled teenagers, and a therapist who works with our troubled teen protagonist.

Happy Birthday to Me plays more like a glossy, lurid soap opera at times punctuated with some creative, gruesome murder set pieces.

Melissa Sue Anderson makes her motion picture feature debut in Happy Birthday to Me as protagonist Virginia Wainwright. She had nearly a decade of experience on TV by that point, though, most notably as Mary Ingalls / Mary Ingalls Kendall on the hit show Little House on the Prairie. You can bet playing a blind Mary for a number of seasons prepared an 18-year-old Anderson for her flashbacks, brain operation, therapy sessions, memory loss, and traumatic blackouts throughout Happy Birthday to Me.

Slasher films often pursued at least one name actor for their cast: Betsy Palmer (Friday the 13th), Ben Johnson (Terror Train), Leslie Nielsen (Prom Night), Lauren Bacall, James Garner, and Maureen Stapleton (The Fan), and Farley Granger (The Prowler).

Glenn Ford accumulated 110 acting credits from 1937 through 1991, highlighted by Gilda, The Big Heat, Blackboard Jungle, 3:10 to Yuma, Midway, and Superman. Ford (1916-2006) wouldn’t have wanted to be remembered for Happy Birthday to Me and he was reportedly a very unhappy camper making the film, heavily drinking throughout and hitting the assistant director after he called for a lunch break during the middle of one of Ford’s scenes.

He’s not all that big a role in Happy Birthday to Me.

Ginny Wainwright attends the snobby Crawford Academy and she’s a member of the school’s Top 10 clique, only the best and brightest. They are systematically eliminated apparently by Ginny, and we find out that none of the Top Ten attended Ginny’s birthday party four years before the start of the movie. They attended instead another party for a Top 10 member and Ginny and her mother are then involved with an auto accident that kills Ginny’s mother and leaves the surviving Ginny needing her experimental brain tissue restoration.

Ginny was originally planned to be revealed as the killer possessed by the spirit of her dead mother, but the film instead chose a shocking twist ending that remains the main reason why fans of the film remember it so fondly 40 years later.

Thompson (1914-2002) reportedly got so much into the spirit of the enterprise that he was throwing around buckets of blood on set. The final 40 minutes pile up the corpses.

Columbia Pictures went for both the bloody and bizarre in promoting Happy Birthday to Me, a minor hit in the summer of 1981.

The poster has an image of the most famous murder set piece of the movie.

JOHN WILL NEVER EAT SHISH KEBAB AGAIN.

Steven will never ride a motorcycle again.

Greg will never lift weights again.

Who’s killing Crawford High’s snobbish top ten?

At the rate they’re going there will be no one left for Virginia’s birthday party … alive.

Happy Birthday to Me … Six of the most bizarre murders you will ever see.

WARNING: BECAUSE OF THE BIZARRE NATURE OF THE PARTY, NO ONE WILL BE SEATED DURING THE LAST TEN MINUTES … PRAY YOU’RE NOT INVITED.

Factual accuracy is not this poster’s strong suit, since there’s nine deaths in the movie, there’s no John character in the movie, Steven’s the one killed by kebab, and Etienne’s the one done in by a motorcycle.

The Delta Force (1986)

THE DELTA FORCE

THE DELTA FORCE (1986) Three stars

Watching THE DELTA FORCE for the first time in 30 years, it surprised me in three ways.

First, it accumulates a running time of 2 hours, 5 minutes.

Second, the heavy action does not kick in until about 1 hour, 15 minutes in.

Third, it’s more thoughtful than expected, given that it is a Golan-Globus production starring Chuck Norris and featuring a cast of many highlighted by hostages Martin Balsam, Joey Bishop, Lainie Kazan, George Kennedy, and Shelley Winters, actors who initially suggest the movie would quickly become AIRPORT ‘86.

About that running time, let’s see here, RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II and COMMANDO, both from 1985, clock in at approximately 96 and 92 minutes, respectively. Then again, Norris’ previous cinematic crusade against terrorism, INVASION U.S.A., lasts 110 minutes.

Once the action does kick in, it kicks in real good in THE DELTA FORCE and it especially delivers the goods with shit blown up real good just like an old school action movie should. Of course, I hope the demolition experts were paid real good.

The action truly begins with a chase: Major Scott McCoy (Norris) and his Delta Force colleague are pursued by Lebanese terrorists through Beirut and one terrorist vehicle crashes into a poor defenseless fruit cart and melons fly everywhere. Ah, yes, this is one of the better fruit cart scenes in history because they used both slow motion and big melons. I say the bigger the melons, the better the fruit cart scene.

I have argued the best Chuck Norris movies are the ones with the best supporting casts and THE DELTA FORCE definitely upholds that argument. Other cast members include Robert Forster, Hanna Schygulla (it’s a long way from Rainer Werner Fassbinder melodramas to Chuck Norris action spectaculars), Susan Strasberg, Bo Svenson, and Robert Vaughn. The great Lee Marvin (1924-87) also plays a key role in his final movie performance. Of course, Marvin brings his association with THE DIRTY DOZEN.

This is Norris’ best supporting cast, though I still rate THE DELTA FORCE slightly below LONE WOLF MCQUADE and CODE OF SILENCE overall.

Palestine born Menahem Golan (1929-2014) wrote, produced, and directed the film, which takes an undeniable pro-Israeli, pro-Jewish position. Golan served in the Israeli Air Force as a young man, long before he and his younger cousin and business partner Yoram Globus attempted to conquer the international film market.

Call me a fool and slap me silly, but it seems that Golan paid a lot more attention and dedicated more craft to THE DELTA FORCE than the average run-of-the-mill Cannon production, like, for example, Norris’ other 1986 film, FIREWALKER. Granted, J. Lee Thompson directed that one, but it’s doubtful that Golan would have evinced any passion in a watered down third-rate Indiana Jones retread like he did for THE DELTA FORCE.

THE DELTA FORCE ripped its plot from the real-life hijacking of Trans World Airlines Flight 847 on June 14, 1985. There’s a real-life Delta Force who have engaged in Operation Eagle Claw, Operation Enduring Freedom, the Iraq War, Operation Inherent Resolve, and Operation Kayla Mueller, among many other specialized missions incorporating counter-terrorism, hostage rescue, and direct action.

THE DELTA FORCE began production in July 1985 and filming in September 1985. The shoot lasted until early November. The filming took place in predominantly Israel. THE DELTA FORCE opened February 14, 1986, 245 days after the hijacking.

We have about the same number of passengers and crew members in the movie as in real life, the same number of terrorists behind the hijacking, a purser based on flight service manager Uli Derickson, the singling out of the Jewish passengers and the Navy divers and the eventual murder of one of them, and a similar flight pattern.

In real life, though, diplomats brought about the release of the hostages, not the Delta Force. Of course, that’s not what anybody wants to see in an action movie. I mean, you don’t cast Chuck Norris and Lee Marvin for that.

THE DELTA FORCE can be a wish fulfillment fantasy particularly for those who feel the United States perpetually takes a soft position on international terrorism and that we should go right into the heart of the Middle East and “Kill all the A-rabs” once and forever. Never mind that all our prior and ongoing efforts in the Middle East have seemingly only compounded matters and created more terrorists. One just might be left to conclude the War on Terrorism will never end, just like the War on Drugs.

The Arab characters in THE DELTA FORCE, terrorists one and all, earned their place in Jack G. Shaheen’s book “Reel Bad Arabs: How Hollywood Vilifies a People.” Vincent Canby of the New York Times wrote, “[DELTA FORCE] will be the 1986 film all others will have to beat for sheer, unashamed, hilariously vulgar vaingloriousness.”

Subaru customized a motorcycle just for Norris’ late picture heroics. Gene Siskel wrote in his one-star review for the Chicago Tribune, “The action in Beirut is more appropriate for a bad James Bond film than for a subject that has been all too real lately. Norris gets off shooting rocket launchers from his specially built motorcycle, and we sit there stunned at the movie industry’s ability to make money off of any tragedy.”

Israeli filmmaker Rafi Bukai said that he hated films like THE DELTA FORCE because they do not show Arabs as human beings.

Veteran character actor Robert Forster (1941-2019) plays the main terrorist Abdul Rafai. Forster was born in Rochester, New York, to parents of Italian, English, and Irish descent. His father trained elephants for the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus. File this casting alongside John Wayne as Genghis Khan in the 1956 THE CONQUEROR. Along this same line, how many ethnicities and nationalities have character actors like Alfred Molina and Armand Assante played over the years?

I give THE DELTA FORCE a positive review because I enjoy it as a big, dumb, and even stupid action movie and it is an effective time capsule piece with Golan-Globus, Cannon Films, Chuck Norris, Lee Marvin, and all those older character actors. Not because it is a sobering, thoughtful, and balanced consideration of Middle East politics and international terrorism. Thankfully, I have read several books just like that on those subjects.