A BOY AND HIS DOG (1975) ***

Forgive me for giving away the ending of A BOY AND HIS DOG: The Boy chooses The Dog over The Girl.

Then again, I am not sure I gave away the ending any one bit more than a title like A BOY AND HIS DOG. Yeah, right, it’s not called A BOY AND HIS GIRL.

Character actor L.Q. Jones, a favorite of the director Sam Peckinpah (1925-84), wrote, directed, and produced A BOY AND HIS DOG, adapted from Harlan Ellison’s 1969 short story “A Boy and His Dog.” Just take a look at the film’s poster: “The year is 2024 … a future you’ll probably live to see” and “a boy and his dog: an R rated, rather kinky tale of survival.” That part about A BOY AND HIS DOG being kinky, it’s no lie. Jones, in fact, makes a cameo in the porno movie within the movie.

In post-apocalyptic times, it quickly becomes apparent that a boy and his dog need each other more than ever before.

Especially this boy. He’s named Vic (Don Johnson). He’s 18 years old. He’s obsessed with sex and food, in just that order. Both his parents are gone. He lacks formal education and his ethics and morality are naturally twisted by the world he lives in. He’s a survivor, by any means necessary.

Meanwhile, his telepathic dog named Blood (voiced by Tim McIntire) is one helluva smart and savagely witty canine. He’s better than Benji! Benji, when he was voiced by Chevy Chase in OH! HEAVENLY DOG, never uttered anything like “I hope the next time you play with yourself, you go blind” or “Pull up your pants, Romeo.”

Vic and Blood have worked themselves out a nice little survival pact, at least until the lovely and sassy lass Quilla June Holmes (Susanne Benton). She knows how to appeal to Vic, but good old hound Blood knows a no-count hooch when he sees (and smells) one.

She’s been sent above ground by her powerful father from another world (Jason Robards) to scout talent for a sperm donor to perpetuate the species of underground survivors. Of course, Vic has got the super sperm necessary for the job, a fact Miss Holmes finds out firsthand. She ditches the boy and his dog and returns below ground, proving that Blood definitely sniffed out her wily ways.

Blood advises Vic not to chase the girl and go below ground, but the perpetually horny Vic lets his libido be his guide. Vic asks Blood to wait above ground for his return.

After boy and girl escape the underworld in harrowing fashion, they find Blood and he’s barely alive. That’s when The Boy faces his choice between The Dog and The Girl. Feed her to the dogs, indeed.

A BOY AND HIS DOG makes a strong case that dames are a dime a dozen even in a post-apocalyptic world, but dogs like Blood are truly a rare breed.