Grand Hotel (1932)

GRAND HOTEL (1932) ***
MGM once boasted More stars than there are in Heaven and as I typed out those words, sounds and images from Grand Hotel played on the motion picture spread inside my head.

Of course, because Grand Hotel put Greta Garbo, John Barrymore, Joan Crawford, Wallace Beery, and Lionel Barrymore — five good old-fashioned movie stars — together. A commercial and critical success, Grand Hotel gave Hollywood a casting model still with us today, as well as the custom that a luxurious setting must host our stars. They even named the movie after this luxurious setting.

Part of the appeal of watching Grand Hotel to this very day — nearly 90 years after the film’s original release, for crying out loud — derives from drawing parallels between the real-life performer and their character, especially true for Garbo, John Barrymore, and Crawford.

Top billed Garbo (1905-90) plays ballerina Grusinskaya, but it’s virtually impossible to not draw the parallels with the actress herself when we hear the famous words, I want to be alone. Or I think Suzette, I’ve never been so tired in all my life. Yes, I listened to the Kinks’ “Celluloid Heroes” so many times before I watched Grand Hotel that the song informed every second of seeing Garbo in arguably her most famous movie role, Don’t step on Greta Garbo as you walk down the Boulevard / She looks so weak and fragile, that’s why she tried to be so hard / But they turned her into a princess / And they sat her on a throne / But she turned her back on stardom / Because she wanted to be alone.

Garbo appeared in eight films after Grand Hotel, her final one being George Cukor’s Two-Faced Woman in 1941. That one came with the slogan Go Gay with Garbo! Her first talking picture, 1930’s Anna Christie, simply hyped Garbo Talks!

John Barrymore (1882-1942) first made his motion picture fame as Dr. Henry Jekyll and Mr. Edward Hyde in the 1920 Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Barrymore’s life played out like Jekyll and Hyde, seeing that his matinee idol looks earned him the nickname ‘The Great Profile’ and benefited him in romantic lead parts in Grand Hotel (as the formerly wealthy Baron Felix von Gaigern, who specializes in thievery and gambling with Garbo his potential mark) and Twentieth Century (arguably his best performance as tempestuous temperamental theatrical director Oscar Jaffe) before many years of heavy drinking finally wore him down into a shell of his former self. John Barrymore died 10 years after Grand Hotel premiered, at the age of 60 from pneumonia and cirrhosis of the liver. He’s more famous today for being Drew Barrymore’s grandfather, but his acting talents are well-preserved on celluloid and I’d start (and possibly finish) with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Grand Hotel, and Twentieth Century.

Crawford (1904-77) has remained a divisive figure some 50 years after her final movie — Trog in 1970 — embodied by the essay The Feminine Grotesque: On the Warped Legacy of Joan Crawford by Angelica Jade Bastien that reappeared on RogerEbert.com during Women’s History Month. No lesser authority than Crawford herself described her Grand Hotel character Flaemmchen as “the little whore stenographer,” and the actress’ eternal divisiveness stems in part from her infamous reputation for sleeping her way to the top. Bette Davis said of her arch rival, She slept with every star at MGM. Of both sexes.

Kansas City (Missouri)-born Beery (1885-1949) shared the 1933 Academy Award for Best Actor — with Fredric March from Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde — for his performance as the title character in the feel good heartstring yanker The Champ. The Champ premiered Nov. 21, 1931. Grand Hotel premiered 143 days later and Beery plays a character, General Director Preysing, who proves to be a complete 180 from The Champ. Beery chews through the scenery not only on Grand Hotel but every other movie MGM had in production at that moment in time.

John’s older brother Lionel Barrymore (1878-1954) etched his place in history as the epitome of villain, Mr. Henry F. Potter from It’s a Wonderful Life. So to see him play such a likable character in Grand Hotel might be a great shock for most viewers who are only familiar with Barrymore through It’s a Wonderful Life. He’s definitely a scene stealer in Grand Hotel.

Ironically enough, Lionel Barrymore presented Beery with his Oscar statuette. Barrymore won Best Actor the previous year for his performance in A Free Soul.

I must admit, though, that I prefer International House, taglined in 1933 as ‘The Grand Hotel of Comedy’ and released by Paramount, over Grand Hotel. International House gives us a cast that includes famous gold digger Peggy Hopkins Joyce, W.C. Fields, George Burns and Gracie Allen, Rudy Vallee, and Bela Lugosi, plus Stoopnagle and Budd, Baby Rose Marie, and Cab Calloway. We have Calloway and his band performing “Reefer Man,” Fields smoking opium and driving his American Austin automobile through this grand hotel in Wuhu China, Doctor Burns and Nurse Allen bantering, and plenty more Paramount pre-Code shenanigans stuffed into a 70-minute cinematic confectionery. By comparison, Grand Hotel, lasting more than 110 minutes, seems awful staid and stodgy.

That said, Grand Hotel serves a lasting reminder of how powerful star power used to be.

Predator and The Most Dangerous Game

PREDATOR (1987) & THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME (1932)

It’s been duly noted over the years that PREDATOR combines elements from ALIENS and RAMBO into one blockbuster.

Until only recently, I did not realize PREDATOR also updated a 1932 horror movie named THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME for modern times and weaponry. That relatively unknown classic centers around the concept of a big game hunter (Leslie Banks) who moved on from animals to humans on his own island reserve. The big game hunter finally meets his match in another legendary hunter (Joel McCrea) shipwrecked on the island, due to the big game hunter’s dastardly design of sabotaging ships and hosting then hunting the shipwrecked survivors. The two great hunters contest their most dangerous game on the same jungle sets as KING KONG. Ernest B. Schoedsack co-directed both MOST DANGEROUS GAME and KING KONG, films released several months apart. Fay Wray and Robert Armstrong appeared in both. I say go check out THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME.

In a two-star review for THE PREDATOR, I summed up the difference between the 1987 original and the 2018 retread.

“PREDATOR ‘87 does not have perfunctory dialogue and dead weight, and it does not drag. It plays like ‘a lean, mean fighting machine’ (in the great words from STRIPES) and it’s a streamlined entertainment that moves faster than this, er, last year’s model (an Elvis Costello reference following STRIPES).

“The cast of the original PREDATOR amounted to 16 actors.

“By comparison, THE PREDATOR features approximately 50 credited and 20 uncredited cast members.

“Favorite character: ‘Sobbing veterinarian.’ Second favorite: ‘Cantina bartender.’ Show: ‘Halloween mom.’”

Let’s face it: PREDATOR star Arnold Schwarzenegger could do very little wrong at this stage in his career and he’s a presence missing from the PREDATOR movies that have followed. This is a different Schwarzenegger film in one key aspect: When his Dutch faces off against the title character in the final act, it’s an incredibly tense final showdown because, for a change, we are not sure Schwarzenegger’s character will make it out alive. Kevin Peter Hall’s Predator knocks Schwarzenegger around real good, something that we just don’t see every day. Hall stood at 7-foot-2 and he towers over everybody, including Schwarzenegger.

The film’s marketing campaign proved to be misleading, since Schwarzenegger is not the predator, he’s the prey.

The supporting cast around Schwarzenegger forms one of the most macho in history, with such luminaries as Carl Weathers, Jesse Ventura, and Bill Duke around to chew the scenery. Their machismo ultimately descends into terror as the title character begins systematically eliminating them. They sure do make great trophies for the intergalactic hunter. They’re the best of the best, at least on this planet.

PREDATOR director John McTiernan (DIE HARD) and crew made the film in the real jungles of Mexico rather than some back lot. Like PLATOON, PREDATOR turns the jungle into another character and it exerts a force seemingly every bit as potent as the title character. If that intergalactic hunter don’t kill you, then the damn jungle will for sure.

Like JAWS, behind-the-scenes difficulties benefited the finished product. Originally, Jean-Claude Van Damme signed on to play the Predator, but was fired during production for reasons that nobody has ever been able to agree on. Apparently, some of his footage survived and made the final cut. The 5-foot-10 Van Damme would have made a radically different Predator, one definitely not quite as imposing and intimidating and one more ninja-like than Hall, who played the role in the first two PREDATOR movies before his 1991 death.

The first Predator suit failed, so the filmmakers called on special effects guru Stan Winston (1946-2008) to solve the problem. Winston is another one of those behind-the-scenes figures who developed a legendary reputation and just reading some of his credits justify the legend: PREDATOR, ALIENS, THE TERMINATOR and TERMINATOR 2, STARMAN, A.I., FRIDAY THE 13TH PART III (uncredited), THE THING, and PUMPKINHEAD (Winston also made his directorial debut with this 1988 horror feature).

Like a classic horror movie, we have a gradual build-up to the full reveal of the monster in PREDATOR. Characters also build him up in our imaginations with their dialogue. Of course, we see the effects of an escalating body count and this only fuels our anticipation for seeing this predator in his true form. When we do see this intergalactic villain, it’s worth the wait. The final showdown between Schwarzenegger and Predator definitely lives up to our expectations, and it’s on par with the big fights in KING KONG VS. GODZILLA and FREDDY VS. JASON, though PREDATOR is overall a better film than both KING KONG VS. GODZILLA and FREDDY VS. JASON.

You have not lived a full cinematic life until you have seen Schwarzenegger’s Dutch tell the Predator, “You’re one ugly motherfucker,” as he takes off his mask.

PREDATOR (1987) Three-and-a-half stars; THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME (1932) Three-and-a-half stars

The Marx Brothers & The Three Stooges

THE MARX BROTHERS & THE THREE STOOGES

Before Elvis and Chuck Berry, the Beatles and the Stones, Zeppelin and the Who, the Clash and the Sex Pistols, Nirvana and Pearl Jam, Woody Allen and Mel Brooks, Richard Pryor and George Carlin, Monty Python and Benny Hill, David Letterman and Jay Leno, and Jay and Conan, there was Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin, yes, but also the Marx Brothers and the Three Stooges.

There seems to be a notion that you can’t like both the Marx Brothers and the Three Stooges, and that you have to choose one over the other and the twain shall never meet.

I call bullshit on that notion.

There’s room for both in this mad, mad, mad, mad world.

However, I will admit upfront a preference for the Marx Brothers.

Granted, at the age of 8 through 10 or 11, I absolutely loved the Three Stooges and I learned only of the Marx Brothers from a scene in GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM. For a period of time on the school bus, my two cousins and I pretended that we were the Three Stooges and I played the Moe role. For many years after that obsessive period, though, I barely paid the Three Stooges a bit of attention. I don’t know, like fart jokes, they just seemed precisely like something that you instinctively move beyond as you get older and mature. I’ve revisited the Three Stooges’ work recently, though, and I’ve found enjoyment in them once again.

During college, I discovered the Marx Brothers and DUCK SOUP (1933) became one of my favorite all-time movies and Groucho Marx’s Rufus T. Firefly one of my favorite all-time characters. The Marx Brothers influenced my sense of humor tremendously, Groucho especially, and I don’t know how many co-workers or women I flirted with ever picked up any of the distinctive Marxist vibes.

I once argued with a college professor that DUCK SOUP retained value in the 21st Century because there’s still pompous jerks around who need to be deflated, not that I would have ever thought of naming that particular college professor as one.

In the end, I’ll choose Marxist anarchy over Stoogian anarchy because I prefer absurdist verbal wit over slapstick brutality.

The Marx Brothers paved the road for Mel Brooks, Woody Allen, Monty Python, Rodney Dangerfield, Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Peter Sellers, Carl Reiner, Robin Williams, AIRPLANE!, Borat, Bugs Bunny, and “South Park.” Their influence extended to music — you cannot tell me their satirical and sartorial choices in military dress at the end of DUCK SOUP did not have an impact on the “Combat Rock” era Clash, Queen named two of their albums after Marx Brothers spectaculars (A NIGHT AT THE OPERA, A DAY AT THE RACES), and Alice Cooper and Groucho reportedly became good friends late in Groucho’s life. Groucho died in 1977, a year that also included the deaths of Elvis Presley and Charlie Chaplin (Elvis and Groucho separated by a mere three days in August 1977). The Ramones also had that great song “I’m Against It” on 1978’s ROAD TO RUIN, itself a reference to Hope and Crosby.

The Three Stooges influenced Sam Raimi, John Hughes, John Landis, John Belushi, John Candy, Chris Farley, the Farrelly Brothers, Mel Gibson, SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT, and wherever violent slapstick can be found in animation or live-action.

Now, I present 10 Marx Brothers and Three Stooges classics, five from each comedic team.

It should be duly noted the Marx Brothers starred in feature-length pictures (13 from 1929 to 1949) and the Three Stooges produced shorts (190 from 1934-1959).

HORSE FEATHERS (1932) — You don’t have to attend college for 10 years to appreciate HORSE FEATHERS. Oh, it definitely helps, don’t get me wrong. I must say I adopted Groucho’s opening song “I’m Against It” as my credo during college (I didn’t give a hoot that I had no son during the song adoption process): “I don’t know what they have to say / It makes no difference anyway / Whatever it is, I’m against it / No matter what it is or who commenced it / I’m against it / Your proposition may be good / But let’s have one thing understood: Whatever it is, I’m against it / And even when you’ve changed it or condensed it / I’m against it / I’m opposed to it / On general principles, I’m opposed to it … For months before my son was born / I used to yell from night till morn / ‘Whatever it is, I’m against it’ / And I’ve been yelling since I first commenced it / I’m against it.” I just now realized that “I’m Against It” as credo may have been responsible for 10 years of college. I met a lot of Connie Baileys during college, and they for sure were not “college widows,” but, yeah, everyone still says ‘I love you.’

DUCK SOUP (1933) — I don’t know how many damn times I’ve laughed myself silly at this damn movie. I just love how Groucho comes out firing innuendos and witticisms from the get-go and I’ve used several of them in real life like “I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thought, I’d rather dance with the cows till you came home” and “[Fill in the blank] here may talk like an idiot and look like an idiot. But don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.” I must say that I always wanted to conduct official business at staff meetings just like Groucho’s Rufus T. Firefly does in the darkest chamber of Freedonia, especially the business about new and old business and the workers demanding shorter hours. DUCK SOUP upset Benito Mussolini and flopped at the box office, precipitating the brothers’ move from Paramount to MGM and the loss of one brother (Zeppo) from their movies. That’s what you get for truly being ahead of your time. DUCK SOUP is all killer, no filler Marx Brothers madness, and earns the highest (second highest) recommendation.

PUNCH DRUNKS (1934) — Moe Howard, Larry Fine, and Curly Howard starred together in 97 short films from 1934 to 1947, and there were many, many more featuring different Stooge permutations for Columbia Pictures. In their second production, Moe’s a struggling boxing manager, Curly’s a shy waiter, and Larry’s a fiddler. Curly turns into the world’s greatest heavyweight boxer, though, under the influence of the tune “Pop Goes the Weasel.” Rosin up that bow, Larry, and say ‘Bye, Curly, hello, K.O. Stradivarius.’ We can understand the effects of “Pop Goes the Weasel” in 1934 through later songs. In the late-1960s, for example, it’d have been the MC5’s “Kick Out the Jams.” In the early 1980s, Motorhead’s “Ace of Spades” or AC-DC’s “Hells Bells.” In the early 2000s, Drowning Pool’s “Bodies” would’ve perfectly suited a PUNCH DRUNKS remake. Personally, over the years, I’ve found much therapeutic value in such lovely, lilting songs as the Stooges’ “Search and Destroy,” the Clash’s “Cheat,” and the Misfits’ “Where Eagles Dare.”

MEN IN BLACK (1934) — Before Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith, there was Doctor Howard, Doctor Fine, and Doctor Howard hot off the heels of PUNCH DRUNKS in this hospital spectacular that puts “Laughter is the Best Medicine” to the ultimate test. I know it was during the Great Depression, but one should consider how much dire straits a hospital must have been in to call on Doctor Howard, Doctor Fine, and Doctor Howard. MEN IN BLACK spoofs on the Clark Gable and Myrna Loy film MEN IN WHITE, which earned the distinction of being one of the first films condemned by the Legion of Decency. MEN IN BLACK competed against winner LA CUCARACHA and WHAT, NO MEN! for Best Short Subject – Comedy at the Academy Awards, the Three Stooges’ lone nomination in this category. The Three Stooges worked the broken glass running gag better than BETTER OFF DEAD (1985).

HOI POLLOI (1935) — Greek rooted phrase “Hoi polloi” means the masses or the common people, and elitist snobs use it derisively for people they believe are beneath them. Some pompous fools might even say the Three Stooges are “hoi polloi” or lowest common denominator entertainment. You might remember the good old “Nature vs. Nurture” discussion from school or at least TRADING PLACES when Ralph Bellamy and Don Ameche placed their bets on Dan Aykroyd and Eddie Murphy. Nature argues that genes and hereditary factors determine human behavior, whereas nurture centers around childhood experiences and how individuals are raised. Many great minds — from John Locke to Steven Pinker — have entered the dialectical fray in the last say 400 years, but the work of Doctor Howard, Doctor Fine, and Doctor Howard should not be neglected in the halls of history. HOI POLLOI is their 18-minute dissertation, replete with those patented Three Stooges slaps, eye pokes, head conks, and nose honks. Believe that’s even the name of a 1-minute, 42-second YouTube clip. There’s also some real good dancing in HOI POLLOI, and it left me with the urge to listen to Pulp’s or William Shatner’s “Common People.”

NIGHT AT THE OPERA, A (1935) — MGM producer Irving Thalberg (1899-1936) made sure the Marx Brothers were more “commercial” and “normal” after their five anarchic pictures at Paramount — especially DUCK SOUP — failed. A NIGHT AT THE OPERA, their MGM debut, gives us less Groucho, Chico, and Harpo and more standard romantic leads Allan Jones (not an improvement from Zeppo, who was a perfect parody of this kind of leading man) and Kitty Carlisle. We don’t want this romantic carp, er, crap, er, carp anywhere near our Marx Brothers madcap antics and wasn’t this a betrayal for our boys? For crying out loud, at the end of DUCK SOUP, all four Marx Brothers pelt Margaret Dumont with fruit when she begins singing a sweet victory song. One picture two years later, our boys embraced opera and let Jones and Carlisle sing their songs. What a letdown! Come on, man, I wish our heroes used fruit on Jones and Carlisle. I wish Zeppo stayed in their act. That said, Groucho, Chico, and Harpo still perform some of their best gags in A NIGHT AT THE OPERA and that’s a must to get somebody who hates opera through 96 minutes of a plot centered around opera.

DAY AT THE RACES, A (1937) — Despite not being the biggest fan of phones in real life, I’ve long been a fan of great telephone scenes in the movies, everything from Ray Milland’s final scene in FROGS (referencing DIAL M FOR MURDER, no doubt) and DR. STRANGELOVE to ONCE UPON A TIME IN AMERICA and IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE. Groucho’s Dr. Hackenbush gives us a beautiful prank stall call scene and the boys get to ruffle the stuffed shirts of both Leonard Ceeley and Sig Ruman in A DAY AT THE RACES. I’ve always found it easier to get through A DAY AT THE RACES than A NIGHT AT THE OPERA, surely because it’s not opera. Yes, because it’s not opera and I’ll stop calling you Shirley. Allan Jones still needs a pie in the face whenever he opens that pretty boy mouth to sing, but Maureen O’Sullivan — TARZAN movies — proves to be a major upgrade from Kitty Carlisle and this is the MGM picture that most captures the spirit of the Marx Brothers at Paramount.

YOU NAZTY SPY! (1940) — A pioneer in mocking Hitler, well before THE DEVIL WITH HITLER and DER FUEHRER’S FACE and even before Charlie Chaplin’s THE GREAT DICTATOR. YOU NAZTY SPY premiered January 19, 1940, beating Chaplin’s first full-fledged talking picture by 286 days. Moe plays dictator Moe Heilstone, Larry’s propaganda minister Larry Pebble, and Curly’s field marshal Curly Gallstone. At least nobody’s “kidney stone.” After some evil shenanigans by evil cabinet ministers, Moe, Larry, and Curly take over Moronica and prove that old Rufus T. Firefly line true from the start of DUCK SOUP, “If you think this country’s bad off now / Just wait ‘till I get through with it.” The sung laws of Firefly’s administration included the line “Pop goes the weasel,” ironically the ditty featured in PUNCH DRUNKS. Yes, both YOU NAZTY SPY and its follow-up I’LL NEVER HEIL AGAIN could play right alongside DUCK SOUP … in fact, all three could join THE GREAT DICTATOR, TO BE OR NOT TO BE, THE DEVIL WITH HITLER, DER FUEHRER’S FACE, STALAG 17, and THE PRODUCERS in a marathon friendly to fascist dictators. Reportedly, YOU NAZTY SPY was both Moe’s and Larry’s favorite Three Stooges short.

I’LL NEVER HEIL AGAIN (1941) — Moe Heilstone (dictator), Larry Pebble (propaganda minister), and Curly Gallstone (field marshal) return again for this sequel released July 4, 1941, months before the United States’ official entry into World War II. The boys are paired again with director Jules White and screenwriters Clyde Bruckman and Felix Adler, despite the fact their characters were fed to the lions or something disturbing like that in YOU NAZTY SPY. One must wonder if Adolf Hitler and Joseph Goebbels ever came across YOU NAZTY SPY and I’LL NEVER HEIL AGAIN and how exactly they reacted. There’s much debate on whether or not Hitler saw THE GREAT DICTATOR. Chaplin himself wanted to know what Hitler thought of it. There were reports that Moe Howard rushed from the production to his daughter’s birthday party while still being dressed in full-on Hitler. Bet the switchboards in Hollywood went crazy on that one. It predated the mass hysteria in PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE.

NIGHT IN CASABLANCA, A (1946) — German emigre Sig Ruman enjoyed a distinguished career in the films of the Marx Brothers, Ernst Lubitsch, and Billy Wilder and when you Google Sig Ruman you’ll encounter “Sig Ruman Marx Brothers” as keyword very quickly. He appeared in A NIGHT AT THE OPERA, A DAY AT THE RACES, and A NIGHT IN CASABLANCA, finding work in the most temporal Marx Brothers films. He’s like a windup machine that specializes in anger … and the Marx Brothers masterfully wind up that machine. Ruman’s incredible at both the double take and the overreaction. Watching A NIGHT IN CASABLANCA for the first time in several years, Ruman came to mind because he’s so great as the comic villain. Both the Marx Brothers and the Three Stooges needed comic villains, because sure they aggravate virtually everybody in their films but it’s more fun when it’s a comic villain who’s beyond exasperated.

The Marx Brothers: HORSE FEATHERS (1932) Four stars; DUCK SOUP (1933) Four stars; NIGHT AT THE OPERA, A (1935) Three-and-a-half stars; DAY AT THE RACES, A (1937) Four stars; NIGHT IN CASABLANCA, A (1946) Three-and-a-half stars

The Three Stooges: PUNCH DRUNKS (1934) Three-and-a-half stars; MEN IN BLACK (1934) Three-and-a-half stars; HOI POLLOI (1935) Three-and-a-half stars; YOU NAZTY SPY (1940) Four stars; I’LL NEVER HEIL AGAIN (1941) Four stars

The Old Dark House (1932)

day 15, the old dark house

THE OLD DARK HOUSE (1932) Four stars
Stop me if you think you’ve heard this plot before: On a dark and stormy night, five travelers are caught up in one helluva storm and flooded out roads make it virtually impossible for travel by motorcar. Our travelers seek out overnight shelter from the storm and take refuge at the nearest house.

Next time, of course, our travelers might just take their chances with the rain and the mud rather than people like the ones they find inside that house or, if nothing else, keep walking and eventually find another house with different people inside.

THE OLD DARK HOUSE takes this old-fashioned plot (probably old-fashioned in 1932) and classes it up because of atmosphere, the cast, and the sharp screenplay by J.B. Priestley, Benn Levy, and R.C. Sherriff.

It’s directed by that master of 1930s cinema, James Whale, whose credits include WATERLOO BRIDGE, FRANKENSTEIN, THE INVISIBLE MAN, BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN, and THE GREAT GARRICK, some of the best from that era.

Whale’s movies generally have style for miles and miles, and intelligence and wit at their core to go along with their atmosphere.

THE OLD DARK HOUSE is no different, and cinematographer Arthur Edeson and production designer Charles D. Hall do wonders to create a sustained mood for 72 minutes. You’re in the hands of master craftsmen, as well as master performers.
Worlds collide in THE OLD DARK HOUSE.

The Femm house contains dread people who have dread secrets: brother and sister Horace (Ernest Thesiger) and Rebecca (Eva Moore), butler Morgan (Boris Karloff, still not speaking after FRANKENSTEIN), 102-year-old patriarch Sir Roderick Femm (played by a woman named Elspeth Dudgeon when the credits give John Dudgeon), and the pyromaniac named Saul (Brember Willis) who’s kept hidden in a locked room. Horace and Rebecca behave like they’re hiding something (namely their brother Saul) and Morgan, why he’s a mean drunk.

Our travelers are Philip Waverton (Raymond Massey) and his wife Margaret (Gloria Stuart) and Roger Penderel (Melvyn Douglas) and then Sir William Porterhouse (Charles Laughton) and his girlfriend Gladys DuCane (Lilian Bond), who come calling at dinner time.

You can basically guess what happens in THE OLD DARK HOUSE and while that normally sinks lesser pictures, you want the travelers to encounter the dread people and discover the dread secrets inside the Femm house, because you know that you will enjoy watching this plot unfold. We want to see who gets out of there alive in the morning.

There’s really not anything complicated about THE OLD DARK HOUSE, but it’s one of the best examples of the haunted house film, a branch of the horror genre that includes such films as THE SHINING, POLTERGEIST, AMITYVILLE HORROR, and the first two EVIL DEAD movies.

The late film critic Roger Ebert loved to say “It’s not what a movie is about, it’s how it is about it.”

THE OLD DARK HOUSE could be used as one of the exhibits for that argument.

Freaks (1932)

day 13, freaks

FREAKS (1932) Four stars
Tod Browning’s 1932 one-of-a-kind masterpiece had incredible difficulty passing muster with the British Board of Film Classification, failing twice before the third time’s a charm in 1963 when it was slapped with an X rating and the caveat “People should be warned of the nature of the film so that those to whom such sights are displeasing will not see it.”

That’s amazing, since 30 minutes of even more shocking content were excised after a disastrous test screening in January 1932. Apparently, one woman threatened suing MGM for giving her a miscarriage. Removed scenes and sequences possibly lost forever include a longer attack on female villain Cleopatra, her conspirator Hercules being castrated, several comedy sequences, and the original epilogue (replaced by a more traditional happy ending). When the film debuted February 20, 1932, it was 64 minutes in length and that’s what we have always seen.

It’s also amazing, of course, the film was even made in the first place, but MGM desperately wanted a piece of the horror market. Keep in mind that 1932 was a glorious year for horror: THE OLD DARK HOUSE, THE MUMMY, WHITE ZOMBIE, ISLAND OF LOST SOULS, VAMPYR, MURDERS IN THE RUE MORGUE, THE MASK OF FU MANCHU, and THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME.

Browning had the opportunity to direct anything he wanted after the Universal Studios hit DRACULA (1931) and his career would never be the same after FREAKS. Browning did not direct again until 1935’s MARK OF THE VAMPIRE.

What made the film so damn shocking? Perhaps it’s because the so-called straight characters are the freaks and the so-called freaks are everyday people just like you and I. Of course, there would be many people made to feel uncomfortable with the freaks’ matter-of-fact treatment.

Speaking of folks made uncomfortable, there’s always the account of MGM Studios’ reaction to the FREAKS cast from an article called “The Making of Freaks” (originally 1973 by Mark Frank).

“By late October 1931, carloads of freaks were beginning to arrive at M-G-M studio, much to the consternation of the personnel there, most of whom did not expect such a materialization of ‘talent.’ While the newcomers were getting acquainted with their new surroundings, popping in and out of alleyways, the weak-hearted secretaries went scurrying about in the opposite direction. During those first days of the freaks’ immigration, opposition to the production grew to alarming proportions. Louis B. Mayer, executive president, who had somehow allowed this enterprise to slip through his fingers, was now furiously against allowing the project to continue. Many of his executives, spurred on by producer Harry Rapf, were trying to organize a petition calling on (Irving) Thalberg to halt the ugly venture. Their argument concerned the Metro commissary, where they believed it would become unbearable to dine with Prince Randian or Zip the Pin-Head.

“Thalberg, having complete faith in his strange little undertaking, stood fast against the barrage of criticism, and continued his ardent support for the film. Within a few days, word came from the higher-ups that the freaks, with the exceptions of Harry and Daisy Earles and the Hilton Twins, were banned from the commissary. In order to accommodate them a private room, especially fitted for them to dine in, was constructed just off the set. Metro also had the cast quartered in a hotel in Culver City, where they were shipped every night as soon as work was over.”

Just another case of life imitating art or art imitating life, since one of the centerpiece scenes in FREAKS involves a wedding feast for “straight” Cleopatra (Olga Baclanova) and “freak” Hans (Harry Earles). Cleopatra and her real lover Hercules have conspired to kill Hans for his fortune, slipping poison into his wine. Straights are the real freaks, indeed. Hans’ sideshow friends have joined him for this special occasion and they decide they will accept Cleopatra as one of them. They pass “a loving cup” around the table and begin chanting “We accept her, one of us. We accept her, one of us. Gooble-gobble, gooble-gobble” (later inspiration for the chant in the Ramones’ “Pinhead”). Cleopatra is so disgusted by this development that, with the loving cup finally in hand, she goes on a rant, “You dirty, slimy freaks! Freaks, freaks, freaks! You fools! Make me one of you, will you?,” and she tosses the wine literally back in their faces.

FREAKS leaves an indelible mark on viewers and that’s mainly because of its unforgettable characters. That’s definitely why it’s one of my very favorite films and has been since I first watched it on video nearly 20 years ago.

Here’s a few briefs on some of these incredible characters:

• English born conjoined twins Daisy and Violet Hilton (1908-69) play basically themselves in FREAKS. They were born joined at their hips and buttocks and they shared blood circulation but no major organs. Their showbiz career began early, touring Britain at age 3, and they were exploited by their various managers throughout their careers; they formed their own jazz band and had been a hit on the vaudeville circuit. Their great moment in FREAKS involved one twin kissing her lover passionately while the other just stood there vicariously pleasured. The Hilton Sisters (better than Paris and Nicky) ended up working at a grocery store in Charlotte, North Carolina, and they were found dead at their home after neither reported for work on January 4, 1969.

• Johnny Eck (1911-91) was born Johnny Eckhardt in Baltimore, Maryland, 20 minutes after a twin brother. Johnny was born with no lower half, while his twin brother Robert was born a normal and healthy child. Eck not only appeared in sideshows and films, but he found time to be (most notably) an artist, a musician, and a photographer. Eck, hyped as “The Most Remarkable Man Alive,” performed for the Ripley’s Believe It or Not Odditorium at the 1933 World’s Fair in Chicago, to help support his family during the Great Depression. Eck and Browning became close friends.

• Prince Randian (1871-1934) plays “The Living Torso” in FREAKS and he gets another one of the great moments when he lights up a cigarette. This longtime carnival and circus performer earned names like “The Snake Man,” “The Human Torso,” and “The Human Caterpillar.” He fathered four children (three daughters and one son) with his wife, known as Princess Sarah.

• Real-life siblings Harry (1902-85) and Daisy Earles (1907-80) play Hans and Frieda, who are engaged before Cleopatra steals away Hans. Harry and Daisy were part of four siblings, along with Gracie and Tiny, known and billed as either The Doll Family or The Earles Family. They were all featured in the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus for decades. Harry appeared in films THE UNHOLY THREE (both the 1925 silent and the 1930 sound remake, the first directed by Browning and both featuring Lon Chaney) and THE WIZARD OF OZ (where he’s a member of the Lollipop Guild). Daisy made her final screen appearance with a small part in Cecil B. DeMille’s THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH.

• Then there’s the iconographic Schlitzie (1901-71), a microcephalic who inspired Bill Griffith’s “Zippy the Pinhead” comic and the Ramones’ “Pinhead” (inspired by the film in general but especially Schlitzie and the wedding feast). Microcephalics were normally promoted as “pinheads” or “missing links.” From “The Making of Freaks”: “One of those selected (to be in FREAKS) was Schlitzie, the Pin-Head, who was a most unusual character. In a conquest of personality, it was claimed that she was a woman, since she dressed like one, but it was also rumored that she was a man. Furthermore, it was said that Schlitzie was neither one nor the other. This conflict of identity did not seem to affect her zeal to work in pictures, especially FREAKS, for on any day that she was not scheduled for filming she would make such a fuss at the hotel that they would have to bring her over to the set and let her sit there. She could very well afford this sort of behavior because, being very well managed, she had amassed a sizeable wealth in diamond rings and apartment houses.” Billed as female, Schlitzie was in fact male.